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Link To Nozick Notes On Love's Bond
also copied below
"Philosophy Talk" on Love (link to radio show)
























Jaques Derrida shows that
philosophers can be difficult
to interview while simultaneously
illuminating love.


Nozick takes on a big topic here, but I think he is up to the task. He begins by defining the essence of love as being when the well being of one person is intimately bound up with the well being of another person. You don't just feel bad for them when bad things happen, you feel like they happened to you. Your well being is bound to theirs, and theirs to yours. This set of relations characterizes the essence of love according to Nozick. He distinguishes true love from "infatuation", which may involve wanting to be in a love relationship with another person and may eventually turn into that. When a true love relation result, Nozick says a new entity comes into the universe: "We". The “We” is constituted by two (more?) 'I's' that stand in a love relation. Some people argue that the We is a truly new entity in the world, which also leaves the world should the love die. An interesting idea. Given Nozick's definition, we may pause and wonder what would make a person a good or bad partner for a 'We'?
Nozick goes on to characterize various features of the 'We'. It involves risk, since your well being will have to go down if your partner's well being goes down. Hmmm. But, yours goes up if theirs does, and you have the security of knowing that they will be there for you if your well being goes down. They even have an incentive to improve your well being since that will in turn improve their well being. But where there is love, there is risk.
We also surrender some of our autonomy to the 'we', so we lose autonomy in love. Now every significant decision you make, even which primarily effects your well being, also effects the well being of your partner. You thus must get their consent to make decisions that significantly effect their well being. Presumably we get other things in return for this loss of autonomy, including some of their autonomy! We may even get a stronger autonomy of our own, since we may express ourselves more completely and confidently with the support of a lover.
Nozick then discusses how our identity is altered by love. Importantly, it cannot be destroyed and consumed by the 'we', because the 'we' can only exist if both 'I's' exist. So it is not a loss of individual identity that occurs in love, but an alteration of your indentity. This raises the question of how the I should relate to the 'We'. Is the I a part of the 'we', or is the 'We' part of the I? Which has priority, the I or the 'We'? Nozick suggests that, as a generalization, women define themselves within the boundary of the relationship (the 'we'), and men define the 'we' as within their personal boundary. Do you think either way of identifying with the 'We' is better than the other?
What do we love when we love another? Their particular characteristics, the things that attracted us to them? Or the person themselves? What exactly is the difference between these two kinds of love? If we love a person because of their particular characteristics, that would be a conditional love. We love them on the condition that they are x, y and z. Unconditional love is loving the person themselves, not any particular feature of them. So even if they change, the basis of the love is still present because they are the same person. If we love features of a person, if those features change, our love will as well, even if it is the same person. Nozick argues that real love is loving the person itself, not qualities. Although, we may have been initially attracted to them for their qualities.
The idea of unconditional love is a bit puzzling, since what basis would we have for loving one person rather than another if the love is truly unconditional? What distinguishes people at this point? How would you explain unconditional love?
Nozick says that if we love only qualities of a person, we will be willing to "trade up" to a better specimen, and this is unbefiting of love. No thoughts of trading up allowed according to Nozick. Any dissatisfactions about your partner should manifest as you imagining being with them in an improved state, not being with someone else that is already "better". He also discusses various risks involved in seeking to trade up. We become specialized as people to fit the contours of our partner, and vice versa. But to the degree that we fit with just that one other person, we are less well fit to connect to any other person at that detailed level because our personality was being formed to gel with a unique individual, like no other. So you would have to reconfigure yourself if you trade up. And you never know if the fit will be found with another , even if they have the qualities your current love does not. Risky!
An interesting chapter with many applications possible to real life love.
The We








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luluyi808 ??????????? 0 Oct 3 2008, 11:30 PM EDT by luluyi808
Thread started: Oct 3 2008, 11:30 PM EDT  Watch
The love is free payout, is help which is willing, is each other mind induction, since has chosen the love, wants sincerely to treat it, treasures it, when him (she) difficulty gives to support, when defeat with encourages, when he (she) is happy, is together joyful, is sad when comforts for him (her). But is not. when has disregards its existence, but after losing only then knows rudes awakening. Likes a person wanting him (she) to be forever happy, makes his (her) forever haven, protects him (her), even if a wee bit injury. A true love person is not we imagines that simply, an affectionate hug, deep lips, an invariable pledge, does not fade faith token ......All these when real love but the rope is tasteless, dark, but non-light. likes a person respecting him most more importantly (she) the independent time and the space, lets him (she) the total involvement invest the energy into for in own ideal enterprise's struggle, and supervises him (she) to use fully, belongs to the time which completely oneself control, in each other is together in the short space to help mutually, supports mutually, shares joys and sorrows, contributes labor and materials for each other's ideal enterprise, to have a glorious future to struggle together.
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yuanhua love is a good thing to have 0 Oct 1 2008, 12:00 AM EDT by yuanhua
Thread started: Oct 1 2008, 12:00 AM EDT  Watch
I really enjoy the video and what he was saying about the love. Many people say love is sweet and happy. Love can makes you turn over, it can makes you to change to positive. But also, some people also say that love is painful and never want to have again. When you fall in love, you will be changed for the person you loved, you will be worked hard for the person because you want to satisfy her/him. We are all human, we all need love; we can not live without to love someone or love by someone. Love has so many sides and the philosopher talking tries to hit all the sides of love. Love is not just a word, it needs actions, it makes you to care about your lover at any moment. You never want him/her to be upset, happy is all the thing you want to give him/her. No matter love is happy, sweet or painful, you will find out your own when you really fall in love with a person.

Last name : Li
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909409792 Love 0 Sep 30 2008, 5:42 PM EDT by 909409792
Thread started: Sep 30 2008, 5:42 PM EDT  Watch
You cloud say love is a complex thing, but you also cloud say that love is very simple. When your emotions impact by the move of one person, even one sentence cloud make you feel you are in heaven or in hell, I say that’s love. Love is the best thing in the world, because love cloud make you feel happy, and most of the time you would think that it’s impossible to live without it. However love also is the worse thing in the world, it cloud make you cry all the time, or even to lose your most valuable thing in your life. In today’s society, lots of people lose the conferdence of believing in true love because some people love someone because of that person cloud satisify his/her pursuance of material and physical enjoyment. Or maybe that person want to take advantage of him/her to achieve some kind of purpose. For example: if A is a girl that everyone like to make fun of, and people don’t really like to hang out with. Then A might want to have a powerful boyfriend that cloud protect her, and get rid of those troubles.

last name: zhao
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